Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I can count

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How do you get a teenage boy to care about hygiene?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can read

Is anyone else losing complete respect for the US at this point?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What is the naughtiest fantasy that you've lived out?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

What happens to adults with Down syndrome when their parents can't look after them any more?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

How will Israelis respond to someone claiming that anti-Zionism is not anti-Semitism, in the same way as anti-feminism not being misogyny and opposing same-sex marriage not being homophobia?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is the nastiest thing you had your wife do and she loved it?

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Is a man over 50 not married no kids a red flag?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fakery

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

If someone works for me, I actually pay them